The Malfunction of Nagato Yuki
by Tremalkinger
Summary: The story begins at Volume Four. Nagato Yuki begins to malfunction, imagining a world without Haruhi and the rest of the SOS Gang. What if Yuki never gave Kyon the choice to go home?


Author's Note: This story starts as a different take on the plot line of the fourth novel, _The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi, _and continues on as something else entirely It is still very accessible to people who have only seen the anime, so never fear. For those of you who haven't read the novels, they have a very unique writing style I've tried to replicate here. If you're looking to read the real novel for yourself, do a search on google for 'haruhi translation wiki'. It should be the first result, Baka Tsuki's translation wiki.

Pairing: Plot/Plot, with some Kyon/Yuki eventually.

As always, read and review.

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It was a day that started like any other day. I woke up involuntarily, slapping ineffectually several times at my alarm to silence it, before finally finding the motivation to switch it off. I lay in bed looking at my ceiling, wishing to Buddha, the Kami, and the Christian's God that I could have just a few more minutes of sleep. Was I being over-dramatic? Oh, most certainly. But sometimes the pressure of school, plus the insane adventures Haruhi dragged me on just drained my willpower, until I couldn't move.

I let myself lay in bed for several more minutes, enjoying the softness of the bed. But soon I heard the light patter of my younger sister's feet outside my room. If I wasn't out of bed by a few minutes after my alarm went off, she had a habit of breaking in and dragging me out of bed, willing or not. I had never been able to train that girl not to barge into my room, no matter what the time of day. Not wanting to experience the cold floor against my body, I grumpily got up.

Breakfast and hygiene were uneventfully dull, and I left with my school bag on my daily hike up the mountain that my high school, North High, sat upon. It was the middle of winter, and very cold. Setting off at a quick jog to ward off frostbite, I was quickly was met by Tanaguchi. His steps were slow and uneven, and as I drew along side him, I could see he was wearing a white sanitary mask over his face, one of the cheap paper kinds. It wasn't an unusual sight by any means, since doctors in Japan say that when you're sick, you should wear such a mask. I don't know if helps any or not, but at the very least, it acts like a blinking neon sign, warning people 'Caution! Stay Away! Infected Person Nearby!'. But I have a good immune system, so I wasn't worried. Not wanting to pariah him, I greeted him brightly.

"Yo." he returned weakly.

"How's it going?"

"How does it _look _like it's going?" He looked at me sullenly through dark ringed eyes. "I feel even worse than yesterday. I think its the flu, but my old man won't let me stay out of school unless my temperature is above 100."

Tanaguchi's father had always been strict. I began to offer him condolences when something about his comment struck me. Didn't he look fine yesterday?

"What are you, blind?" he asked, annoyed. "I felt just as crappy yesterday too, bud. Don't tell me you didn't notice."

I blinked at that. I wracked my brain, trying to think, but I could only remember him acting like his usual idiot self. "Well, anyway... I hope you feel better soon."

He made a disgruntled noise that might be interpreted as thanking me for my good wishes. We walked for a ways in an awkward silence. I tried to reconcile what he had said with my own memories, but not a single event in my mind could back up his statements. It's not that my memory was clouded, or that I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone or something. I remembered interacting with him normally, and he hadn't seemed sick at all.

"Say..." I started, prompting him to lift his head. "How about that Christmas Eve date with that girl you were telling me about? You're looking forward to it, right?"

He glared at me. "What the hell are you talking about? Now you're just making fun of me. You know I have no plans for Christmas Eve, Kyon, much less a date." He turned away, muttering. "Geez..."

I cleared my throat, but didn't respond. _Maybe he suddenly got dumped? _It was possible, and that would explain why he was so angry about it. But I was absolutely certain that yesterday he had told me excitedly about a new girlfriend of his, and their plans to go to a cafe on Christmas Eve. Still, there was no graceful way to rebroach the subject, with him looking down the street like the Grinch scowling down over a jubilant Whosville, so I didn't. We walked to school in silence, the pristine white snow crunching underfoot.

I had arrived to the classroom before Haruhi... a rarity, but not unheard of. For someone as strange as her, she still had a very diligent attendance record, and was almost always waiting for me as I trudged in. I carelessly slid into my seat, glancing out the window over the snow covered rooftops and trees that were my only visage for the next few hours.

By the time the teacher was due to arrive, the rest of the students had mostly filed in. There were a number of seats still conspicuously empty, including the one behind me. _Is Haruhi skipping today?_ I wondered as I glanced around the room. I blinked as a realization struck me. The flu that Tanaguchi was complaining about had apparently turned into an epidemic overnight. Nearly a third of my classmates wore sanitary masks. What had I been doing yesterday, that I didn't notice such a rampant sickness spreading throughout my class?

Now, some people might be saying, 'Hey, dummy Kyon... how could you not realize that something was strange by now?'. Please bear in mind that this seemed to be a string of ordinary coincidences. Not even myself, someone so dulled to the extraordinary by my time around Haruhi, could have anticipated what had actually occurred. But what happened next left no trace of doubt in my mind that something was very, _very_ wrong.

The seat behind me was filled while I was staring across the sea of sanitary masks. It wasn't the usual heavy thud of Haruhi sitting down heavily with a plop, tossing her schoolbag to the floor carelessly. Rather, I heard a light scrape of the chair being pulled out, followed the the almost soundless rustle of cloth, as though the person behind me adjusted her skirt to tidy perfection before setting into her chair.

"Hey... Haruhi. Did you notice so many people were coming down with the flu?" I turned as I spoke, eying her. But when my eyes finally settled on the occupant of the seat behind me, my heart nearly stopped.

Locks of navy blue hair spilled over her shoulders, framing her face perfectly as she glanced over the attendance sheets she was in charge of retrieving. Her blue eyes were careful and calculating, but could be as warm as a summer day if she wanted to act charming. Tanaguchi had ranked her an AA+ in terms of beauty, one of the best in our entire grade. Asakura Ryouko. She was beautiful... stunningly so. There was only one small problem. Last time I had seen her, she had tried to murder me with a knife, in order to provoke a reaction out of Haruhi. My breathing became shallow, and I panicked, feeling like Sara Connor in front of the Terminator.

"Haru... hi?" Asukura said absently, flipping through the pages. "I don't know anyone by that name. Surely you haven't forgotten who sits behind you?" She looked up, her pleasant smile in place.

If she was trying to lull me into complacency, or tease me with the illusion of safety before she attempted to murder me again, she was doing an excellent job. I couldn't detect the slightest bit of ill intent upon her expression. But the memory of her locking me into the abandoned classroom and slicing at me with her knife was too vivid for me to even consider attempting to act calm.

She leaned forward, her gaze inquisitive at my wide eyed goggling, and I tried to scoot my chair backwards, warding her away. The chair tipped under me, and I barely managed to get my feet under me before falling. The metal banged against the floor loudly, drawing the gaze of everyone in the room, as I took quick steps backwards, pointing my finger at her accusingly. I looked back and forth like a madman, looking for support amongst my classmates. "She... she's in Haruhi's seat. And she..." I hesitated, thinking wildly. I couldn't very well accuse her of attempted murder without proof. I suddenly remembered Nagato's stupid cover story. "She moved to Canada, remember? Why is she here?"

There was a deafening silence in the room, and then Kunikida laughed nervously, coming to my side. "You're always such a joker, Kyon." he said, in a tone that suggested he was trying to cover for me. He shot me a covert, worried glance from close range.

Several other people joined in, thinking I was simply making a bad joke. Asakura herself flipped her hair in mild annoyance, glancing back to her papers. "I was only absent for a single day, Kyon-kun. You don't have to make such a fuss about it." She stopped, looking back. "Who is Haruhi anyway? That's the second time you've said that name."

I tore my horrified gaze away from her, looking to my friend Kunikida. "Suzumiya Haruhi. You know... brown hair, yellow ribbons, haughty demeanor, a little strange in the head?"

He shook his head worriedly. "Are you sure you're feeling alright? There's definitely no one in this grade with that name. Maybe she's an upperclassman?"

Asakura tilted her head. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? Maybe you have a fever from the flu? Do you want to go to the nurse?"

The gaze of the murderess herself sent a wave of shivers through me. Anything to be rid of her. "Yes... the nurse. I'll be back soon."

I managed to walk out the door of our classroom at a normal pace, but the moment I was clear of the door, I tore into a run. I knew who I had to see. Nagato would be able to explain this all to me, like she always did.

My hurried footsteps carried me past Koizumi's room. I hesitated for a short moment. While I was here, I might as well check if he was here... the Literature Clubroom was a good distance away, in another building. I leaned in, looking around. Koizumi's annoying, grinning mug wasn't anywhere in sight. I beckoned to one of his classmates, forming my face into a gentle expression so she wouldn't think I was crazy. "Excuse me but... do you know if Itsuki Koizumi is in today? I don't see him anywhere..."

She gave me a confused smile. "I'm sorry... you must have the wrong room. There's no one in this class with that name."

I swallowed nervously. _What the hell is going on? _"Oh... sorry... my mistake." I said just before fleeing. But there was no mistake. That was definitely Koizumi's room.

My feet took me even faster now, down the stairs, towards the back entrance to our school. A glimpse of familiar, gorgeous hair stopped me in my tracks. I turned, running up to her.

She was smiling and laughing with Tsuruya-san. I barged into her conversation, not even bothering to greet her. "Asahina-san! Thank goodness you're here. Everyone else is gone, as far as I can tell. Haruhi and Koizumi have vanished, and no one even remembers they exist. I don't know what I'd do if you too were..."

My vision exploded into white stars for a moment, kind of like ascending to Nirvana, but a lot more painful. When I shook my head and took stock of the situation, I realized I was sitting on the floor with a ringing in my head. Tsuruya-san stood over me, her hands on her hips, glaring impetuously. "I dunno know who ya think ya are, mister, but if you're going to harass Mikuru-chan, then think again. I let ya off with a warning this time, next time ya scare her like that, I'll knock your block clean off." She glared furiously, deadly serious.

I stuttered for a moment before finding my tongue. "But... Asahina and I are... friends. We go to the same clubroom every day after school, and..." I trailed off, looking at the girl behind Tsuruya. Asahina was trembling like a leaf in the wind, and a shininess at the edges of her eyes betrayed that she was on the verge of tears.

Tsuruya tossed a glance back to the now scarred Asahina asking blithely. "Do ya know him?", making it clear she was only humoring me. My savior angel glanced at me, then turned away and shook her head violently, shattering my dreams. Tsuruya sighed and looked back. "You're quite the crazy one, aren't ya?"

At this point, I was almost tending to agree with her, but I wasn't willing to give up. "But... I know all about her. She has a star shaped mole on the inside of her breast, right?"

Upon hearing that, Asahina shrieked, dropping down to her knees with her arms clinging over her ample chest. She gave a pitiable sob.

Tsuruya kicked me in the shins, hard. _Hey... that could be considered assault you know._ But I didn't say that... I only stared on, disbelieving. Tsuruya looked even angrier. "I know your type. You probably think you're her biggest fan and all, but there's tons of you filthy fan boys out there, each one worse than the last... always troubling this poor girl. Try and consider her feelings at some point." She kicked me again for good measure. "Now get out of here, before I report you to the police." She walked over to Asahina, giving her a quick hug to calm her down, and began muttering to herself. "What a loser... going so far as to invent his own world where he and Mikuru-chan are friends..."

She had told me to leave, but I could only sit on my butt, holding my throbbing shin, as they walked away. It was one thing to have people tell me that they had no memory of Haruhi or Koizumi, but to actually _see_ Asahina-san's unrecognizing, terrified gaze... it gave this crisis new validity to me. Was it possible that everyone was playing some elaborate joke on me? I wished it fervently at this point, that Haruhi would jump out from behind the nearest corner and say 'Haha, you dummy Kyon... we fooled you!'. I'd smile and take my shame like a man, such my relief would be. But Haruhi was nowhere to be seen, so I stood and ran.

I hadn't even bothered to retrieve my coat, so the wind and cold bit into my being, cutting to the bone. Luckily, it was only a short sprint to the next building, and then only a ways down the hall to the Literature Clubroom. The familiar halls blurred past me as I dashed towards my destination, my heart in my throat.

I burst through the door, letting it slam against the wall in a Haruhi-like fashion. Sure enough, Nagato was seated in the clubroom as always, although she had taken my usual seat on the right side of the large table, instead of her normal one by the window. She turned her head slowly to take in my presence.

"Nagato! You have to help me!" I was panicked, I'll admit, and wasn't thinking clearly. But the words refused to stay bottled up inside me, and I begged her for answers. "Everyone else is gone, or else they don't remember me! How could this have happened? Is it Haruhi? Did she create a universe without me? Or is there another sinister force at play? How do we stop it? How do we get things to go back to normal?"

Now, there was a number of clues that I should have picked up on to let me know that finding Nagato wasn't going to give me any more sense of normalcy than any of the other Brigade members I'd either found or failed to find. For one thing, the room was subtly different. Gone were Koizumi's games, as were Asahina's cosplay outfits. There was still a computer on the desk in the back of the room, but it was a much older model, and not even with a cable running out the back to connect to the internet. And while this Nagato's movements were still slow and placid, like the one I knew, her face was more expressive. In this case, it showed a healthy fear... probably of me. No wait, it was definitely of me. I neglected to mention... neglected to even realize as I was doing it... that I had pulled Nagato out of her seat and pushed her up against a wall during my Guantanamo-esque barrage of questions. I half expected Nagato to yell out _'There... are... FOUR... LIGHTS!'_

Still not quite willing to accept the obvious truth, I stood there holding Nagato, my chest heaving from the exertion of running here. Then one more discrepancy made it's way into my spinning mind. Nagato had glasses on again. Didn't she stop wearing those after she had defeated Asakura? I released one of her arms to gently take the glasses from her face, holding them between us by the slim frame. "Since when did you start wearing glasses again?"

She made no effort to escape, despite my release of one of her shoulders. She squinted into the dusty early morning light filtering in through the blinds, pawing at my chest with her free hand like a helpless kitten. "...glasses..."

It took me a short moment, but I realized that this Nagato was blind as a bat without those things. I awkwardly fit them back over her ears, withdrawing to a safe distance as I did. "Oh... sorry. I didn't realize that you needed them to see..."

What a stupid statement! What kind of crazy person would wear glasses if they didn't need them? Well, the old Nagato did, but she had an excuse... she was an introverted, taciturn bibliophile... or rather, an alien pretending to be an introverted, taciturn bibliophile. Well, more like an alien-crafted self-aware human contact purpose interface who was pretending to be an introverted, taciturn... you know what? Never mind. I forgot what I was even talking about. The point is, I shouldn't have said that. Now, Nagato probably thinks I'm even more crazy than she already did. She already has reason to believe I'm a violent offender at the very least, and my spouting off about universes, Haruhi, and sinister forces probably didn't help my first impression any.

She stood there, her back still resting against the wall, straightening her glasses. She took the time to fix a crinkle in her black vest, product of my rough handling. After that, she looked over me, and then matched my gaze evenly, patiently. What? Aren't you going to cry for help or something? Not that I want you to or anything, but I'm pretty sure that barging into your clubroom and pressing you against a wall isn't considered the behavior of a decent individual. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I had been standing in the clubroom just now, I would have defended Nagato by beating myself up. Did that even make any sense? Oh Haruhi... has your insanity finally infected me as well?

She was still waiting during my internal mental hemorrhaging. Did the Nagatos in every universe have infinite patience? Oh well, I might as well try to explain. "Um... sorry for entering so suddenly without invitation. You see... this is my old clubroom... and..." Wait, this has always been the Literature Clubroom for as long as I've been in the school. I need to make it at least plausible for this Nagato doppleganger. Or am I the doppleganger? My majority consensus, it would appear I am. But I'm not one to let such small details stop me. "Well... actually, its not my old clubroom, but it looks pretty similar." See? I'm even sticking to half truths. Perhaps I'm not such a terrible person after all.

"I see."

We stayed rooted in place, like a pair of rocks in a Zen Garden, until I lost the staring contest and cast my gaze to the ground, biting my lip apprehensively. Her expression was neutral, and I didn't know what I would do if she asked me to leave. This Nagato, while not the same one that I was used to, gave me a sense of belonging again. Her quiet demeanor and love of concise sentences gave me an 'at home' feeling which had been quite absent since that shock in the classroom. Was it possible to be homesick inside of your own school? I guess so. And who knows, maybe this version of Nagato could also defend me when my least favorite class representative showed up with a machete. Not likely, considering her stature, but Nagato had a way of surpassing my every expectation, no matter what universe we were in.

"Tea?"

Her voice's inflection made it clear that was an offer. Now just in what country do you offer tea to someone who tried to molest you against a wall? Well, I'm not one to question good fortune, if Nagato was willing to forgive my transgressions so easily. Besides, a good tea always calms me down, especially if its brewed by Asahina-san, although a Nagato blend is a good substitute.

We sat at opposite sides of the table. I noted that this Nagato poured a cup for herself as well. Maybe this one actually needs to consume subsistence to not die? It was a strange thought, but my life had been full of such oddities ever since I had uttered the fateful phrase _'Do you change your hair everyday as an alien countermeasure?'._

The tea was delicious, as expected. We each shared a second glass in quiet silence. Sufficiently calmed, I pulled myself together. It was clear that this Nagato wasn't my gateway back into the world I knew. I was going to have to try and figure something out on my own. I really had no idea where to start, but I had a gut feeling that any solution would involve Nagato somehow. They always did. Speaking of which, I should do my best to apologize to her, even if she doesn't seem all that perturbed by my actions. "So... like I said... sorry for intruding. It was a simple case of mistaken identity, I think."

"I don't mind."

I started to get the itchy feeling under my collar that I usually get when talking to Nagato. She's either babbling on about auto-evolution and temporal paradoxes, or else she barely lets out more than three syllables a minute. There's a limit to how many curt responses in a row I can take before I feel like I'm the only one interested in the conversation. Wait, I'm the intruder here, am I really allowed to complain?

Something to say... something to say. "So... the Literature Club, huh? You must really like books."

Wow. I wished I could have Asahina-san's TPDD, so I could rewind time five seconds and take back those words. What a dumb line.

She stared at me evenly without blinking, like a doll. "That is true."

I struggled to come up with something else to say, to continue the conversation, when she surprised me by opening her lips again.

"Do you... like books?"

I hung with my mouth agape for a moment. I had never heard Nagato ask an inconsequential question before. Quickly recovering and shutting my mouth, I pondered my response. "Um... it depends. I guess I haven't had much time to read lately, with school and all, but... yeah. I enjoy a good story from time to time."

She rose soundlessly, going to the bookshelf and pulling something out. She returned with a single sheet of white paper, and held it out in two hands before her. A blush of red graced her pale cheeks, and her gaze dropped to my necktie. "If you'd like..."

I took the paper gracefully, if only to end her embarrassment. Not that I didn't enjoy seeing the blush, as she looked quite cute, but I felt like I should do everything in my power to make this encounter easier on her, considering the way I started it. Wait, did I just say Nagato was cute?

Brushing aside my confused feelings, I skimmed the words on the paper in front of me. It was an application form for the Literature Club. Hey now, can you really afford to be so picky as to have an application process to a club that has only a single member? But, maybe she only handed this to me because saying the words 'Please come visit again...' was too difficult for her. Yes... that fit pretty well with Nagato's silent girl moe. Don't ask me what that means. Haruhi would be able to explain the concept of moe much better than me, honestly.

I scanned over the paper quietly. The top section looked like any other club application I'd seen, containing fields for the normal stuff like my name and class rank. Actually, should I just write 'Kyon' down for my name? If there was anyone from the SOS Dan who would recognize my real name, it would be Nagato, since she could probably just download it from the Internet or something. But everyone else called me by that stupid nickname, so who was I to fight against it? I wrote Kyon in the box.

Clubs I am currently in? I tapped my pencil against the paper for a moment, considering. Should I write 'SOS Dan' into the blank there? I wanted to for a moment, since it would be a nice way of declaring to this strange new world I had been thrust into that I would not go quietly into the night, without a fight. But... the box continued on with more questions like 'If so... what times does this club meet?'. Pretty much constantly, even on the weekends. That doesn't sound promising for my application, since I'm fairly sure that 'constantly' would conflict with when the Literature Club meets. And besides, the next section asks 'What is the purpose of this club?'. Even after nearly a half of a year of being a member, I still had no idea how to answer that. Our official objective, as stated by our Brigade Leader, was to 'Find aliens, time travelers and espers, and have fun with them'. Yet as far as I could tell, our objective was more of 'Find various ways of delaying Haruhi's boredom driven rampage which will destroy the world as we know it.' I think either one of those options would get me legally committed to an institution, and they wouldn't fit in the blank anyway.

Moving on down, there was a few sections that were unique to this club's application. Favorite books? There were five spaces to write title names, but unless manga counted, I couldn't think of a single book. Skipping over that portion, I came to 'Books you wish to read', with another five blanks. I contemplated leaving those blank too, since nothing was coming to mind, but I felt bad. Nagato would get the impression that I had zero interest in literature if I couldn't even think of one answer. I pondered, stretching my thoughts over the events of the last few months.

The book that Nagato had loaned me back when we had first met, the one with the note telling me to meet her in the park, by the now very over used bench... what was it called? Hyperion, I think. Yes, that's it. I had started reading it as she asked me to, but finding the note banished all other thoughts from my mind. What I did read seemed pretty interesting. I remember that basically it followed some characters as they traveled on a ship to a new planet called Hyperion. They talked about how all of the planets that humans lived on were connected by something called a Datacore, and how it was administered by a TechnoCore. I wonder why she likes it so much? Is it possible that the author managed to create a vision similar to the Data Thought Integration Entity? But I kept those alternate dimension thoughts to myself.

I penciled in the katakana for the one book I could think of, then turned to her. I detected a slight flicker of motion from her eyes as I looked up, as though I had almost caught her staring at me. She continued to read her book fixatedly, but from the reappearance of the blush on her cheeks, I knew I had caught her in the act of staring at me. It made me smile, although I wasn't sure why.

I stared impolitely. Her blush grew, and although she was trying to pretend she was reading, her breath was growing irregular, and I could detect the motion of her chest under her dark uniform. To tell the truth... she was cute. No... she was incredibly cute. It took me a long time to manage to stop drinking in her visage, and move to action instead. Even when I finally managed it, it was more out of concern that she might suffocate from embarrassment, rather than wanting to stop.

I slid the barely filled out application across the table to my orchid haired companion, leaning back in my chair. She set her book down, thankful for a distraction, and her dark eyes scanning over it at incredible speed. She looked back up at me, nodding succinctly. She withdrew my mentioned title from the bookshelf, sliding it over to me with a meaningful gaze, then returned wordlessly to her novel.

"Ah... thank you." I replied graciously. "But... I really should get going. I have a class now."

The girl in front of me looked crushed. No, to tell the truth, her reaction was well hidden, but I guess I'm simply used to realizing that any actual emotion displayed on Nagato must be amplified a hundredfold to corollate to another human being's emotions. Still, I felt like I had kicked a puppy, and I struggled to reassure her. "Don't worry, I promise we can meet up after school in the clubroom. That's the normal meeting times, right?"

She stared at my tie again, unable to lift her eyes. "Flexible."

"What, the times?" I laughed kindly. "Right, since its just you and me, right? Well, I can be here after school if you can."

She looked up at me, her expression almost blank, but if I strained a great deal, I could see a small glimmer of happiness in her face. Maybe I was just making that up, but I'd like to believe I'm not.

"Promise?" She extended her pinky out to me.

I hadn't done something like this since middle school, but that didn't bother me. I interlocked my pinky finger with hers, shaking twice. "I promise, Nagato."

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Author's Note: For people who have already read the novels, this might seem like a rehash. And in a lot of ways, I suppose it is, although a great deal of details have changed. Keep tuned, since my ideas diverge more heavily from the canon as we go along.


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